the truth hurts

and the truth is that i am having a really hard time these months. i'm confessing this to myself. if i say it, then i admit it, and admitting it is exactly what i have been trying not to do. i don't want to seem as if i am struggling with anything. i feel so much pressure (from myself) to be ok all the time. and that is just not how it is right now. in fact, this has been and is going to be a difficult time for me. everyone has them, right? there is a constant gray-ness about everything right now. i can't really enjoy anything. well, i don't even want to. i also admit that the gray-ness right now does not exist without light. there are moments i feel ok. like myself. and there is so much hope in me. but, right now it's just putting one foot in front of the other, forcing myself to make it. i'm telling you, it is not easy to be away from the person you love... the person who really knows you and inspires you and comforts you. and it is even harder when you are so far away. she is my breath. and the truth is that it is hard to breathe right now.

(still feel guilty for writing 2 sorta sad/whiny posts in a row)


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